Coffee And Paint Drips Blog - Page 70 of 79

Nothing is Still Doing, Sort of

Beach at Dusk, close-up cropped

@2008 The Artist

I know, I know, where’s the painting? How is the bagpipe coming along? When are you going to finish that thing already? What’s the problem, the hold up?

Believe me, I ask myself these questions every day in the Artist’s Way morning pages that I write. The “censor” in the pages beats me up each day that I haven’t been to visit the bagpipe watercolor. I want to strangle that nasty “censor”! She’s mean and she keeps talking to me nagging. Thank goodness for the morning pages or I’d hear her scratchy voice all day long. I hear here right away when I awake and she doesn’t stop bothering me until I write her words in my morning pages journal. Then she gets quiet for the day. Every day that I haven’t played with that painting I hear her shooting off her mouth again. Blah blah blah. Why this? Why that? How come? What’s your problem?

I could list all my excuses for avoiding this work, but they’re all lame and you’ve heard it all before. No one wants to hear someone complain. Let’s be real. We can identify that there’s a block, some negative energy floating around I’m allowing to get to me, stopping me from going there. The trick is to get through the blocks, but when I think about it I get tired. A couple of days ago, sorting through my stuff was helpful to move through to some creative activity. That was good. Being able to identify that there are blocks to begin with is a step in the right direction. A quick artist date to the book store on Sunday was helpful just to be out in fresh air on a sunny day. A small distraction away from the “doing”.

But if I’m feeling drained and tired I’m just going to do nothing. The Artist’s Way says we creatives need time for nothing. In fact, doing nothing is still doing. It’s just an active nothing, a spiritual nothing. Nothing in the form of quiet, down time. I can do nothing really well. No knitting, no reading, no doodling, no TV, nothing. The only something is anything repetitive like vacuuming, walking, mopping, or cooking, baking to relax the body and the mind.

Feel the feelings. Say “yes” to the feelings and move on without guilt, judgement, or criticism.

Friday Photo

This photo is one favorite of many Son #2 took in his photography class in a series on the beach at Long Beach, NY. There’s a weather forecast for more snow next week, but I’m going to be looking straight at this scene with blinders on.

Enjoy the weekend!

Thought for Thursday

“How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something, but to be someone.” ~Coco Chanel

Not Walking But Don’t Tell Me Who To Be

I read the second chapter in Walking in This World, by Julia Cameron of The Artist’s Way fame. Just so you know, I still haven’t started the walking, but it’s been very interesting reading. This chapter is about the personal identity of the artist. As artists, we know we are creative and some of us get that mirroring to know how creative we are. Most of us get that worried feeling from the people around us, that we better know what we’re doing so we’re not starving artists in the future. Better to have something stable to fall back on just in case we fail. Thanks alot.

As I read along, I came to a paragraph about friends helping to reinforce our mirror of who we are. This resonated with me not only as an artist, but on a universal human level. The thing about having the wrong people as our mirror is that sometimes those friends reinforce the person that they see, not who we see. Those people want us to be something that isn’t “threatening to them, that gives them a sense of their own size and importance.” They are “used to their relationship with you in a certain way.” When we grow larger into ourselves to who we really are, it’s scary for the other people to see it happening. The book didn’t call this competition, but I would.

The concept just shows you how people around you can be jealous of your growth and they let you know it by their actions. When I read this paragraph things clicked in my head. I’ve had this happen to me and it’s happening to someone very close to me at this moment. People are uncomfortable when you grow and change into something they didn’t think you could be. It’s confusing and threatens their own existence. Cameron writes that these friends, and they’re not friends if they do this stuff, want to downsize us to what we once were before. If we’re intimidated by these “friends” we might shrink back down to a size suitable to them. Problem is we aren’t small and compact anymore. It’s not going to happen and that causes friction. Suddenly, they say we’ve got a swelled head. We’re too big for our own self now, to them. They are unable and unwilling to mirror back to us who we know we’ve become.

Have you ever done something or learned something you think is amazing and your friend, or a family member, or even a colleague, tells you, “What are you doing that for? That’s not how it is!” How disheartening is that? Brings you down to size, doesn’t it? But that’s how people are, like a distorted fun house mirror. You know who you are and when you face that mirror you don’t recognize yourself.

Rather than allow that distorted mirror to shape our new size back down, we need to find new mirrors, new friends who can see and recognize, and support this new being. The question is how? Can they be fixed? If you can’t fix them, can’t avoid them, can’t change them, what do you do? Cut and run, or stand your ground?

All human beings are supposed to change and grow into who we are meant to be, regardless of what others want us to be. Cameron writes that we can play small, humble and modest, but we will never be comfortable with “yesterday’s definition of ourselves.” If the Universe wants us to expand and grow, why not cooperate? Those people who resist that new identity can never stop it, and they know it.

Snow. Again.

Try as I might, I can’t keep my spirits up lately. The snow just keeps on coming down around here. Today I had to shovel up almost three inches of the stuff. And may I say how heavy it was? It was really heavy and my back and shoulders ache. So it’s exercise, I get it, but it’s enough already. I am done.

I wanted to ignore the snow for a while by looking at some summery watercolor paintings from my garden flowers last summer. At the time I had not yet read The Artist’s Way and was really bad at letting the household chores rule my free time. Now that I know better, the housework was my way of blocking myself off from art, subconciously. After doing the course I can identify my actions and try to veer towards ways of overcoming those blocks. Now I have tools!

The snow is my block right now. I know I’m letting the weather block me from the studio. All I want to do is sit and look out the window at the snow, snuggled up on my comfy little sofa with a cup of hot coffee and a lap blanket. What studio? What art? Huh? Oh, that. Maybe later. Maybe not.

Those summer watercolors gave me a breath of fresh air, the feeling of stretching out and a moment to warm up and relax. By looking over the paintings I took myself to that time of hot weather and sunshine, far from this dreary misery that is this year’s cold and snowy winter.

I remember that day well, when I walked through my house on the way to the kitchen. Catching a glimpse out the living room windows, I noticed the really tall pink echinachea moving in the breeze along with the black-eyed Susans and the red daylilies. Something said, “Come on outside and sit here” and I dropped everything and did just that. The travel watercolor set was available and so was the block of paper. I had the time and the motivation, and I vowed not to waste it.

Sitting on a chair in the garden, eye-level to the flowers made it seem like I was all alone in the world. I sketched the scene quickly in pencil and then went straight to color. Mindlessly, I worked purely from instinct, not thinking of which color to use next, just doing it. I imagined this might be how Monet felt painting his garden pond and bridge in Giverney, France. I painted the way the light fell on the petals and surfaces at the afternoon hour and the color of the deep darks in the shadows. It felt wonderful to lose myself in that moment.

I wish I could figure out how to get myself in that moment right now. Snow is not my friend.

Negativity and Non-productivity

All this snow and the cold weather is wearing me down. Not to mention the dopey things people do, how they act, and that I have a reaction to it all is just annoying. The jealousy of other people and the hate that comes with it is tiring. What’s wrong with people? It wears away my motivation to work on anything and there’s alot of stalled works in progress at the moment. I’m busy thinking what I’m going to say to these people when I see them later this week. If I could focus on my jown stuff and not on this junk it would be wonderful. At least the energy it takes to react to negativity could be channeled in a positive way. But no. Now I’m stuck. Again.

Rather than work at doing, I decided to take inventory. Taking stock was a good distraction. I took a look at the bead jewelry I’ve already made, lined them up to evaluate what worked and what didn’t. The newest order of semi-precious stones arrived a couple of days ago and I sorted through them. Ideas came to me as to what I want to make with the agate stones. Blue, purple and pink agate free form stones are really stunning all strung together. I put them away in an organized manner.

After the stones I looked through my knitting patterns and books. There were patterns I know I’m not going to use so they went out. Yarn for all kinds of projects were sorted through as well as my needle collection. I separated the heavier yarns from the sock yarns, the double pointed needles from the straights, and the connected kind for large projects.

While sifting through the patterns I noticed a pattern some knit bloggers were working on. It’s a dainty knitted doily from the 1940’s I guess, but a blogger knit it in heavy yarn on circular needles as a lap blanket or a throw. I rummaged through my yarn stash and found enough yarn to try it out along with the right needles. This pattern is worked from a chart part of the way and I’d never used a chart before. So I casted on and kept going. I’ll see how far I go until I get crazy. So far, so good.

It just goes to show that a little cleaning up can reap some rewards. I needed the distraction to help me get out of my head for a while.

Friday Photos

Thought for Thursday

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” ~Thomas Edison, inventor

Snow Day and an Artist’s Date

Last week the forecasters were predicting a snowstorm that never happened. You know how everyone hears the words “winter storm warning in effect” and they run to buy milk and bread? What’s with that? Is everyone working with an empty refrigerator, or at the slightest idea of some snow they need to stock up with a month’s load of food? Please people!

The weather guys were correct with their snow predictions this time. As usual, I’m fine in the food department. They’re expecting blizzard conditions this afternoon, but so far there was only three inches on the ground by 8AM. Thankfully, I have no where to be but at home and that’s where I’m staying!

Mostly I like being home alone, but being snowed in is even better. There’s no way you can go anywhere, no idea of going out except to shovel, and it’s a freeing feeling. I have big plans for my day in! First another pot of hot coffee. Then, I may bake some muffins from a new recipe I found. Later I might put on a Bach CD I bought a little while ago and draw with some pastels. If there’s more snow I’ll take more photos of it.

The possibilities are endless and exciting! Definitely an Artist’s Date kind of day. Isn’t funny that I’m so excited to be snowed in I have all these ideas of things I can do? I should be like this every day, thinking which art thing to do first. We humans are weird people. And we artists? Ok, I won’t say it.

Balking and Bagpipe, I’ll Just Go With It

I’m writing this post after having a most unsatisfactory morning. I’ll elaborate some. Since it’s my job to take care of all the household chores, shopping, and meals, (I’m the artist who works at home) I consider it also my job to be concerned with the health of the people who live here. Everyone in every family has certain needs that have to be met and it falls on the person doing the house stuff to handle it, right? I think so. If someone here catches a cold I make the chicken soup. If someone needs more fiber in their diet, I work that out. I do my best.

Now, the hard part is when one family member balks at what I’m offering, and since I am the person with whom the responsibility lies, I am offended by said balking. Catch my drift? Look, we’re not talking babies here, we’re all adults. But from the reaction of one individual I could swear I saw a tantrum happening when I brought out the oatbran cereal rather than a bagel slathered with butter and jelly. Whatever.

As that person went on his way after getting his way, I vented in my morning pages and could have written a fourth page. Thank goodness for morning pages! After I was finished I came to start my day by reading emails and to write this post. I brought a nice hot cup of coffee with me to enjoy, which I promptly knocked over and dumped on the desk and in my lap! Great day ahead, I’ll say.

The bagpipe painting flat on the desk and wet

Having said all that and gotten it off my chest, let me share how the bagpipe painting is coming along. I decided to go for 15 minutes again, ignoring the non-working overhead lamp, and working on the dark background. I don’t like to use a tube of black paint because it’s too flat and has no depth.

It’s easy enough to mix a black with undertones of other colors. I’m still using the MaimieriBlu watercolors, but they don’t offer an Alizarin Crimson which I tend to rely on for some reason. They have some other color that’s similar, but not as deep, so I went for that and mixed with Ultramarine Blue and Burnt Umber. Nice and deep black. I used a large brush full of paint and applied it behind the figure.

After it dried a little bit I went back in with straight color mixing somewhat with the paint already down. As I’ve said before, my training in watercolor is minimal so I’m making it up as I go along. maybe it’s not how the medium is supposed to be used, but that’s the beauty of art and the process. You do what works and make it new and interesting.

The dry bagpipe painting upright on the easel

Later on I’m going to address that white area on the left hand side. When I printed this frame I thought it was an all black background. But looking closely I found that area was where the photo frame ended so I drew it in to break up the space. It’s part of the composition mirroring the large area on the right and I’ll answer that question with color. I naturally break up spaces this way in my work. Something inherent in my brain makes me think in shapes. I’ll go with it as usual.

Yeah, I’ll just go with it. Not like some other people who balk.